When running through them all I couldn't help noticing that they form a lovely 90's style dance, so I had a go at putting them all together. My friend suggested the perfect song! This took about four takes to get right :P
You can read the full rules HERE (and you definitely should), but I'll casually summarise for the lazy ones.
A - High Block: You can only hit someone between their mid-thigh and shoulders. Any hit that lands above their shoulders and has a noticeable effect (they lose their relative position in the pack or fall over) earns you a High Block penalty.
B - Back Block: We do not wallop people in the middle of the back. That's where their spines live. Go for the hips instead.
C - Clockwise block: All skaters should be moving in a counter-clockwise direction. If you skate clockwise to hit someone, or hit them backwards from a standstill position (a 'Stop Block') you'll get this penalty.
E - Elbows: They are pointy and might accidentally end up sticking out of someone's eye socket or ribcage. No elbowing people.
F - Forearms: Refs please correct me on this - you can contact people with your hand or arms, but not in an impactful or sustained way (no more than 3 seconds). In effect what this one means is you may not clothesline the opposite team, or push them along like a trolley, or stick your arm out in front of them like a traffic barrier. This is how ulnas get broken. You also can't smack them with your arm as they pass you just for the heck of it. We block with our body weight, not our forearms.
G - (Gross) Misconduct: This could be any number of things, but a misconduct is basically something so bad it could get you expelled immediately because you are a danger to yourself, the teams, and the officials. Starting a fight? Consistently ignoring referee commands? Swearing and threatening the officials or other teams? Knocking the penalty box chairs into another person? Here's a list. All of these can get you a Misconduct, and most likely expulsion from the game.
H - Head block: No headbutting. We are not in Glasgow. (Unless we are... but even then, no headbutting)
I - Illegal Procedure: Again, could be a number of things. Illegal Procedures usually aren't immediately dangerous but mess with the set-up and structure of the game somehow, usually in a way that gives your team an unfair advantage. Leaving the penalty box and re-entering track at the wrong time or place. Being in the wrong place at the start of a jam. Your kit not being on correctly. You can avoid most of these by just not being a daft twit. Again, here's a list.
L - Low Block: Any block that lands below the mid-thigh and has a noticeable effect. This includes tripping people. Big no-no.
M - Multiplayer Block: As we know, the jammer should be able to bust through a gap in a wall of blockers. If you're preventing this by continuously holding onto your teammate like a grabby grabber person, that's a multiplayer block. You can touch teammates to push and pull each other, but not hold on. Aside from anything else, clutching your team-mate's arm when there's a jammer running between you is a great way to get your wrist broken.
N - iNsubordination: In summary, ignoring a ref. Always obey refs, they are magic wizards of awesome power.
O - Out of Bounds Block: What it sounds like. You can't block someone when one of you isn't even on the track. Who gave you that stupid idea?
P - Out of Play: These happen a lot. Basically any time you engage another skater outside the engagement zone (20ft behind and in front of the pack) you are Out of Play. You can also get this penalty by destroying the pack illegally (although there are legal ways to destroy it) and not trying to reform it when you hear there is a "No Pack" (because if there's no pack, there's no engagement zone either, therefore no hitting allowed). Out of Play penalties usually come with a warning first, and if you don't respond by getting back in play then you get the penalty.
S - Skating out of Bounds: Not rocket science. What would be the point of having a track if you weren't even bothering to skate in it?
X - Cut Track: In essence this one is 'Overtaking people by leaving the track'. We all get bumped off track occasionally, but when you do you have to re-enter it behind the people who were next to you and in front of you at the time. That means if they start to run backwards, so do you. Re-enter ahead of them and you've queue-jumped, earning you a cut track penalty.
Z - Delay of game: I've only seen this one once, it happens so rarely. It's usually because somebody doesn't understand the rules of their own game and a lot of time is wasted trying to sort it out. So if a team just can't seem to get the right number of people on track for a jam and time is wasted, the captain gets a Delay of Game penalty. That's why the hand sign looks like someone going "chop chop".
When I saw one, a skater recieved a penalty but didn't know she could sit down in the penalty box behind a skater who was already standing and ready to leave. So she returned to track of her own accord. And was sent off again. And returned to track again. Obviously she'd never NSOed Penalty Box before! By the time everyone had figured out what was going on and explained to her that she could sit down it had caused such a hoo-hah that the captain received a Delay of Game penalty. Which is why it's worth knowing your NSOing.
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